5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse
A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. A girl might choose to be by having a chubby or fat guy. regarding the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to respond to an extremely loaded statement: “Name grounds”
The contestants’ answers end up supplying a funny round in the minds regarding the participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.
But my sister didn’t share this movie on her behalf Facebook web web page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It had been quite contrary: my sibling ended up being mad at the round’s subject plus the responses provided. My sibling composed:
“This actually bothers me personally! This is the reason individuals think you need to be skinny/fit become breathtaking, to be wanted, to be liked, and also to deserve anything…this is never OK!”
My sister tagged me personally in this article once you understand my back ground in fat studies and sex studies (and also as a fat masculine person), once you understand i might concur along with her frustrations.
Image description: A screenshot associated with the Family Feud game board because of the six most widely used answers: “Fatty got cash” (34 away from 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The thing this round that is particular of Feud does correctly is summarize a number of the unfortunate myths our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat guys — and relationships.
Nevertheless, calling away fatphobic fables ended up being clearly maybe perhaps not the game’s aim. Alternatively it perpetuated body terrorism against fat figures to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each one of the top six many answers that are popular order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and bad for males of size.
1. “Fatty Got Money!”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable With Their Cash or Energy
The myth: the reality that this myth is considered the most popular regarding the six given responses — 34 for the 100 individuals initially surveyed provided this or perhaps a similarly-worded response — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout American tradition, whether or not it is in films, politics, or popular tradition.
The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would a person who could presumably get with anybody they desired decide to get with a disgusting fat guy, right?
This sort of idea is incredibly damaging for a complete great deal of fat guys, putting all of their value as individuals to the cash or energy they could or might not have.
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The reality: While you will find, needless to say, many people who just look for relationships for the money or energy, the fact is that frequently, individuals will prefer to get with a fat guy because they really wish to be with him. This misconception is a lot less frequently placed on thin or “fit” guys, unless of program see your face is famous to own cash or energy. Nonetheless it’s much easier for individuals to comprehend two thin or usually appealing individuals being together because they’re drawn to one another than when a thin or usually appealing individual chooses become having a fat guy for any other less trivial reasons.
2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals
The misconception: Using this misconception, we come across just just how individuals make an effort to just take away fat people’s agency. It signifies that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, whether or not it’s simply because they just find other fat individuals attractive or that’s all they could “get”, when you look at the many brutal of terms.
Slipped into this misconception is a related fatphobic misconception: that most fat everyone loves to consume a large amount of meals, and all sorts of individuals who like to eat foodstuffs are fat.
The reality: place clearly, the presumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships along with other people that are fat false. Humans — fat, thin, plus in between — may be and sometimes are drawn to a wide number of individuals of all sizes and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals are at ab muscles least ignorant, or even totally fatphobic and sizeist.
And also as for the indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that is another myth too.
3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly
The misconception: All fat guys, in accordance with this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they might ever have. Such men’s lovers would just make use of them to seem more appealing in comparison. This misconception helps make the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably take a relationship having a man that is fat they’re actually attracted to jordanian brides him. Fat individuals are merely tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.
The reality: in the same way many people might pursue a fat guy for cash or energy, many people might just pursue fat guys to look more appealing to others. In fact, though, this is apparently less frequent than this response might have us think.
I’ll keep saying the purpose, even in the event We seem like a record that is broken lots of people really find fat guys appealing!
4. “She’s In Love”
It was really the only truly mocking-free solution included in the most truly effective answers in the board. That by itself is illustrative for the fatphobia that is entrenched display when you look at the remaining portion of the responses. It will come in at 9/100, and therefore out of 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” had been the clear answer provided by just nine individuals.
What exactly are fat males viewing expected to consider their health and their well worth as humans?
5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Good For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse
The misconception: that is among those stereotypes that are“positive many of us make an effort to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all gay men are stylish and confident.”
Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, although not much else in the “positive” part of stereotyping. As proof of this, among the game show participants offered a remedy that finished up perhaps maybe not being regarding the board: that a lady would date a man that is fat he had been proficient at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, reacted just as if it was the essential answer that is outrageous the whole world, using the other participants plus the audience laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat males can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be noticed as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.
The facts: the matter with “positive stereotypes” is they anyone that is automatically alienate does not participate in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate anybody who would like to be observed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.
Truly the only redeeming quality our culture permits fat men — if they aren’t rich or effective, rather than even 100% for the time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy teddies. even though many fat guys are certainly “warm and cuddly,for them to see this as their only positive trait” it’s harmful.
Further, just exactly what somebody perceives to be that is“good “bad” at intercourse is usually entirely subjective and located in individual choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat males might be “good” at sex further entrenches fatphobia that is systemic.
6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too In Need Of Like To Be Unfaithful
The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they will have within their present relationship. Or in other words, they understand that no one else may wish to be using them.
The reality: To bluntly put it, it is upright wrong. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and intimate attention.
As damning as it might be to acknowledge, fat guys are in the same way likely as every other guys to cheat to their lovers. And many more crucially, this myth posits that fat men are incredibly ugly, no body would offer them to be able to cheat on the lovers, which, once again, can be drastically wrong to assume.
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The Ongoing Challenge of Fatphobia
These five survey answers on Family Feud show the blatant body terrorism fat men are subjected to in our culture as with all myths and stereotypes about a group of people.
Despite exactly exactly just what these urban myths may have you think, fat men’s systems are inherently worthy. They’re also desirable and appealing to numerous others. This truth should be so hard n’t to assume, however the proven fact that it had been addressed as a result for a tv series illustrates precisely how profoundly fatphobia has pervaded culture.
While you’re watching this episode disturbed and angered me personally, it is a reminder that people have actually considerable work to do to attain any type of across-the-board quantities of respect for fat individuals. Just then will we have the ability to make these fables and any perceptions that are negative to them obsoleted modes of idea in the place of mostly accepted norms.
Feature image: picture of a person sitting indoors. They’ve been putting on a t-shirt that is white baseball cap because they stare to the digital camera with a small grin on the face. They’ve dark epidermis, a fade that is low, and a beard.